The day my wife died suddenly, my caring family offered me a drink of whiskey before I went home to be alone with my son who happened to be in town. My first inclination was not to have a drink, not to take sleeping pills, dull the pain, the trauma or do anything else other than just go to bed. I did not sleep that night and felt as if I had taken some kind of psychotropic drug. I got up the next morning feeling rode hard and put away wet but felt I had made the right decision in being completely conscious in my grief. Why was this a good thing?
I felt that it was a good thing because the only way out of grief, I found, was through it. Today, I am happy to say that the grief experience with my wife taught me an important but hard life lesson: face your difficult emotions, own them and since emotions are action requiring programs, that is, they seek to be looked at, dealt with and released, work on the healing of those emotions through spiritual, mental, emotional and physical means whether it’s through your own inner work or the working with a competent therapist or spiritual healer. Why do I make this pronouncement?
What I observe happening in our world is an ignoring of, a refusal to face difficult emotions, to deal with them head on and repress and suppress them instead. I have found that when you stuff emotions inside and don’t deal with them, they stay in the mind and body only to cause physical ailments like heart disease, cancer, diabetes, depression, anxiety and a host of many other diseases.
As hard as it is to face difficult and hurtful emotions, it is better to face them, own up to them, bring them to the light of day, examine them and discover ways to make peace with them. So, from that day my wife died leaving me traumatized and I took nothing to dull the pain, I realized that that one action of not dulling my inner pain helped me to be stronger for future difficult emotions and I could remain conscious and aware enough to look inside myself and ask myself the questions that led me to inner healing. The first question is: can I handle how I feel without any distractions? Most often, the answer is yes.