Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Relationships Are Teaching You...Pay Attention!

From my expanded awareness and perception that has come from being in relationships over the millennia, only a very narrow sliver concerns being with another person, animal, etc., for company, companionship and all the other egoic reasons we believe we humans have relationships. What is the real reason we humans have relationships?

I have found that the real and true reason we humans crave and have relationships is to play out our characters in a drama so that we may teach ourselves lessons that enhance the growth of our souls. That other person you are relating to is someone you have allowed in your “play” and they have agreed to be in your “play” and vice versa. In this “play” you both present themes around which you teach each other things that your persona/psyche/egoand ultimately, soul, feels it needs to learn, to become aware of and function with. These lessons can be both easy or very hard depending on what you need to be taught. What example can I give you?

One of the best examples of what relationships are for is to learn, through one’s insecurities, how to be more comfortable with being vulnerable. This comes in the form of having one’s emotional buttons being pushed in relationships. It could be in the form of one of the partners being an out of control gambler which pushes an insecurity in the other partner around issues of money. The insecure partner may have a fear of loss of money stemming from a poverty-stricken upbringing and seeing their partner spend money frivolously calls up that insecurity. The other partner is not purposely calling up the other’s insecurity.  They are just doing their thing.

The idea here is to realize what is being taught here by feeling this insecurity. The gambler may have
a problem but the gambler is not the one spiraling out into uncontrollable vulnerability who has the
deeper issue. In this case, it would be prudent to face why your partner who gambles triggers you, presses your hot button and what you can do (in addition to letting your partner know that their out-of-control gambling makes you crazy) and learn from what this trigger in yourself is looking to teach you. Perhaps it is there that you may look at this insecurity and forgive it and release it as it is limiting your happiness and peace of mind.

Whatever you do about this insecurity, know that you have allowed your partner into your “play” willingly that they may present you with themes that YOU must grapple with. If you refuse to learn from your partner, you are just wasting time in your relationship and simply treading water, that is, you are not growing.

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