I find that in our relationship with ourselves and others, we often behave like an immovable wall and we often bang our heads against our own wall. This causes us consternation and suffering. What is meant by this?
What is meant by our behavior being like an immovable wall is that we don’t examine our preconceived notions about our relationship with ourselves and others and keep doing the same behavior expecting different results. We end up banging our heads against this immovable wall of our own preconceived notions causing big bruises on our psyches and hearts. How can we deal with this wall of our own making that we may move forward in our relationship with ourselves and others?
First of all, there is nothing wrong with a wall and in relationships, building a wall of preconceived notions, I find, is a wrongheaded use of a wall. Sometimes in relationships you need to allow space for yourself and the other to have room to move towards you, you need to move the wall. You have to use the energy of the other to move beyond your preconceived notions and allow them to move towards you which allows them space to change or get out of your way. To keep demanding that you or they behave in a certain way while getting no results or change is a poor use of energy. Nobody wins. It is better to use your and their energy to move them into a different space where they may be able to look within or size up the situation where they may come to greater understanding. Perhaps they are the ones with the preconceived notions that they can’t overcome.
Perhaps in this new space, they will have deeper perception and can make a change for the better. Walls have their place and they are not for an impenetrable device for surrounding the psyche or heart. A boundary is one thing, a wall is another.