Sunday, April 9, 2017

Do You Have Insecrities?

Do you have insecurities? What a question because all humans have insecurities! What are insecurities, anyway? From my experience, insecrities are feelings manifested through our ego's vulnerability arising from our doubts and lack of self-worth about ourselves. They are feelings about not being sure about ourselves (imagined threats to our persona/psyche/ego) born out of believing we humans must somehow strive for perfection, be perfect. It is very often feeling incompetent in some area or feeling like a failure because of some perceived lack.

From my vantage point of dealing with so-called insecrities, I see insecurities  as important feelings letting me know how I really feel, becoming more conscious about something whether it's a relationship, a job, a task, change, etc. They are my vulnerabilities, not my weaknesses, that alert me to where I need to put more attention and work on various areas of my life. For example, if my newfound girlfriend doesn't respond to several of my texts, I feel insecure thinking all kinds of thoughts like maybe she's out with someone else, doesn't like me any more, etc. I don't really know if any of these thoughts are true but I continue to feel insecure until she contacts me and tells me her phone died and she's exhausted from a very busy week. Phew! I beat myself up with so many ridiculous thoughts and now I feel better. Insecurities!

This is the internal struggle many of us go through because of our insecurities. How can we overcome these insecurities? I have found the best way to deal with one's insecurities is to stop expecting everything to be perfect. Humans are imperfect. We are not machines. We all want to be loved, to feel important, secure, happy and peaceful and when we get a sense that these aspects are somehow threatened, we become vulnerable. It's OK to feel vulnerable, it's OK to feel insecure but the idea is to parent that insecurity by facing it head on and reminding oneself that you are a maturing, growing human, experiencing growing pains and therefore learning how it's OK to live your life feeling insecure but not allowing those insecurities to block your progress or end a relationship or keep you frozen in fear. Feeling insecure just tells you you have more work to do on yourself in some area of your life, your persona.

If you have insecurities, welcome to being human. We all have them and they need not deflate us. They are simply clarion calls from our persona for learning how to be better.

Feel the insecurity but do the thing anyway!!!

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