Friday, September 30, 2016

Doors Of Happiness

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us"- Helen Keller

Doors of happiness and sadness are constantly being opened and closed in our lives over and over again. Such is the human condition and it is in our focus as to where our energy goes. Energy, that is happiness or sadness, follows focus. When we allow our focus to stay looking at the closed door, we can become fixated on a focus of sadness that is more difficult to overcome the more we stay stuck in the sadness.

At the same time, it is not realistic that we are happy all the time. I believe that we must walk through those doors of sadness that open in our lives and live in that room for a moment, reflecting on that sad experience that allows us to move on from it with a deeper perspective of life, with a sense of being taught by the sadness. We don't stay in that sad room forever. We look for other doors of happiness that we must walk through. Otherwise, you can end up in the psych ward of life bewildered and confused.

I know that this is not always easy as we fall into cognitive traps that keep us fixated on our wounds. Well, I say, lick your wounds and get on quickly about your business as best you can. We are not meant to suffer interminably. We are meant, I believe, to ride the waves of our experiences that buffet us about with some equanimity and grace. You are the captain of your focus and your emotions don't ride you; you ride them!

I encourage you not to get caught up in a narrow focus in life because if you do you are defeating the very purpose for why you are here and that is to allow your life to be a Mr. Toad's wild ride where you enjoy the ups and downs and not stay on the sidelines as an observer in fear, doubt and hesitation about being bruised by both happiness and sadness.

We are meant to be stressed but we are also meant to use stress management! Walk through the doors of sadness and happiness and keep walking. Other doors do and will open, it's cosmic law.

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