Thursday, June 13, 2019

Be Inaccessible For Greater Happiness

From my experience, people in relationships are too accessible to each other and then they wonder why the relationship ends. People want to see each other all the time and it makes them soon grow tired and bored of each other instead of creating a little mystery between them through a little inaccessibility and creating a sense of excitement or maybe an end to the relationship based on if there were deeper emotions, deeper connections between them or just a shallow encounter.

It is better to be more inaccessible in relationships, I have found, for there to be more happiness. It is, in my experience, rare to find someone you want to be with all the time and when and if you do find that person, please be with them and enjoy them but give them breathing room. Allow them their space, their own time, their own activities, their own friends, their own life as that makes things more interesting and exciting between people.

I have found that one in life I wanted to be with all the time and I married her. However, I did not cling, I did not have a co-dependency, I did not need to always be with her although we did everything together. It’s a strange balance. You have to allow the other person to become inaccessible. Let them disappear for a while. Let them have their alone time. I was never jealous of my wife’s great talent and accomplishments. As a matter of fact, I supported them with great admiration. What happened was that we both invited each other into our separate world’s. I will never forget picking my wife up at 6 or 7 at night at her High School theatre and helping her to sweep the backstage classroom just because I wanted to. She didn’t ask me to do this. It was my way of showing my care and support.

I never grew tired of her even after 36 years of marriage. Whenever she came home, my heart would still flutter in her presence. Inaccessibility was the key. She had her life and I had mine. I did not have to be with her every minute and that made for happiness.

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