Tuesday, April 17, 2018

What You Resist Will Persist

I have found through experience that what I feared most, I became. Why is this true? I found this to be true because what I resisted in my life always persisted. Whenever I refused to deal with or ignored my fears, they would go away for a short while and then reappear later on in an even bigger way in my life. For example, as a young adult in my early 20’s, one of my biggest fears was being assertive, that is, speaking up for myself. I disliked confrontation of any kind and would never address any wrongs done to me.

I finally faced this fear in my mid-20’s when living with a roommate who was very assertive and I had to learn how to set boundaries and speak my mind. It was hard at first as it called up my fears of confronting people.

Once I learned how to face this fear, the fear disappeared. From that point on, I became more assertive and was able to speak up for myself while also practicing facing other fears. Every time I shied away from facing a fear, it only made that fear worse. The fear persisted until I looked it in the eye and overcame it. I also saw that when I feared, the fear actually became a fear-calling device, that is, my fear itself, called more fear into my life. I was like a scared rabbit. An animal of prey. I would invariably become what I feared the most, I would experience more of that fear in my life.

Once I realized that becoming fearful and not addressing fear would call more fear, I stopped myself from being fearful by facing the fear. At first it was challenging but by keeping at it and facing the fear square in the face and not resisting my knee jerk reaction to run away or ignore my fear, I overcame the fear never to have it come into my life again.

Make no mistake, you have to be very persistent with your fears. Fear is a natural part of being human. We all have fears. I am talking about being frozen by fear where it runs your life and you end up completely controlled by your fears. I refused to be controlled by my fears and I confronted them and still am. At this juncture, I simply don’t resist my fears. I look at them and roll around in the dirt with them. I get dirty but I get used to the feeling of dirt and see that it’s not all that bad. Fear becomes my ally and this allows me to no longer be an animal of prey. I am now a predator, stalking fear itself. Fear is afraid of ME.

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