When I am with you, I am with you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. What does this mean? It means that when I relate to you, all my faculties are present in engaging with you. I am not out to lunch where any of my functions are either missing or asleep. For example, when I’m with you, I am not thinking of someone else or feeling like I want to be with someone else. I am with you, all the way. I am present and accounted for in my state of being and that state of being is completely here, now. I am no where else in my presence. Why is this important?
Being with someone in every aspect of my being is important because I find most people distracted when they are with me or they simply can’t see me because they are not aware enough. For example, someone who is with me will ask a question about where I have been in the world but never engage me about my spiritual, emotional or mental understandings at all. They will also engage me on the level of glamor, the surface level and never see the deeper aspects of me. They will judge me on the surface level aspects of my body and never see the “more” of me beyond the surface level. What happens is that they miss who I really am, even though they can feel me, they remain unconscious, thinking they know me from the casual connection they have made with me. While I can maintain small talk, relate to people on a surface level, I am not good at being in relationships where it’s only surface level all the time. If you want to be “with” me, you’re going to have to be with me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I am an all in kind of person. If you can’t do that, it’s OK. You are just not going to be with me. I bring every aspect of who I am to my relationships. I am not distracted. You are the central focus of my now.
How can you bring all your bodies to bare in a relationship? You have to start by realizing that you
have multiple bodies and you are not just a physical body. You have a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body, each separate, each unique, each definable as its own presence. You have to be able to know how each one of your bodies is doing, how it’s feeling, what it’s up to. This takes contemplation, meditation, effort, determination and persistence in going within and seeing that you are more than just a physical body or fleeting thoughts or troublesome feelings.
As a matter of fact, your real nature is Spirit. Your physical body is illusive and impermanent. It is your Spirit, your Soul that is permenant. It lives forever and that which lives forever is what you bring to your relationships, not the surface level, glamorous human with its ego, persona and psyche. While those aspects are important, it is the deeper aspects of feeling, thinking and soulfulness that are the critical elements in deeper relationships. I don’t discount the physical because we are physical beings and being sensual is important but there is more to the story that most people disconnect from at their own loss.
May I suggest that you resolve, if you have not already done so, to broaden your concept of what a
relationship with another consists of. From what I have experienced, it goes way beyond the sensual and it is those things beyond the sensual that really determine the success of a relationship.