From my vantage point of being a Shaman of persona, I see passive/aggressive behavior as a very clear example of what I call persona split. It's a form of confusion where the persona is confused between identifying with ego that says "eat or be eaten," or the soul that says, "Love is all there is." I feel for those caught up in a passive/aggressive persona syndrome because they don't know which way to go as they battle between their head and their heart. This battle, I have found from direct experience, is most often unconscious, that is, the person experiences the struggle but is not aware of why they struggle. How can we ameliorate this confusion in our lives?
In order to heal passive/aggressive behavior, I have found that we have to begin by becoming conscious of this behavior in ourselves, realizing and accepting that this is a struggle between head and heart, between ego and soul. So, in order to heal this divide, this confusion, we have to decide to heal the disharmony within our persona by allowing the head and heart, the ego and soul to work together. How do we do this?
We can heal ourselves by first delving into ourselves and facing the confusion head on. Perhaps we seek the help of a good therapist, spiritual healer or Shaman who can be an outside observer and counselor of our recovery. What ever direction we go in to find healing, we must work on turning our victimhood around and realize that we aren't wounded, we are just putting too much attention on divided behavior. We have become fixated on a Do loop. We see that it's not about "eat or be eaten," it's about following our truth, the truth of the heart that says it's OK to Love yourself, that's not selfish. We turn our thinking from fearful to fearless. We don't let ourselves feel less than, we don't let ourselves feel attacked. This takes effort and practice. While using a therapist is helpful, we must do our own inner work like using affirmations, mantras, reading and researching, journaling, talking with others. We must be proactive in working on ourselves.
In Loving ourselves, we move into the domain of the soul that shows us that there is never a loss. I don't have to be always fighting, going after something, striving, winning, competing to be whole and to be who I am. I also don't have to be a passive victim. I am a victor. I am already whole. I don't have a need to be either passive or aggressive because I know I AM. I simply AM and that's good enough. I don't need to prove anything to myself or others. I achieve my desires so there is no hurt, no hole in my persona.
I am no longer looking to survive because I know I am always sustained.