Why do I keep grieving? Why do I keep making mistakes, going to war, murdering, hating, loving, singing and dying? Why am I both filled with inspiration and depression? Why am I filled with both anxiety and peace? In wrestling with these questions, my perception saw the answers to the above questions.
The reason that I, as a human, can experience the suffering of my body and the elation of my soul is because I have one foot in the human world and one foot in the spiritual world. I am a Being with two distinct components, human and spiritual, enmeshed in a singular psycho-emotional-physical-soulful experience. The human side of my experience is my persona/psyche/ego that has its own way of thinking and my soulful side, my Spirit, has a completely different way of thinking. As a matter of fact, my Spirit doesn't think at all. It just is.
The human/spiritual experience is one in which we, as actionable beings on a fast moving planet, are continually working on reconciling these two major aspects of who and what we are. Sometimes our egos take over and we are competitive, comparing, judging, controlling and approving. When our soulful side emerges, we are loving, peaceful, compassionate and empathetic. It seems like we humans struggle to reconcile these two sides of our nature, to try and balance the human with the Spirit. How do we make a success of having one foot in being human and one foot in being spiritual?
In coming to terms with these two distinct aspects of what the human being is, I have learned through trial and error, to accept my human side with Love, knowing I'm vulnerable, insecure and have a shadow side and to grow my spiritual side with practices such as loving kindness, tolerance, happiness and peace. I have come to recognize the voices, the thinking of my human side, my ego and my soul and there is the witness, the observer side of my being that can weigh in and listen to each side deciding on my course of action. I make the choice of which side of my being to listen to.
The important part of the answer is learning the difference between the two voices within, that is, to know when your ego is talking and when your soul is talking. When you are judgemental, that's ego talking. When you are unconditionally loving, that's your soul talking.
In my estimation, it's about accepting yourself for both sides of your nature and learning how to balance them, learning that it's OK to make mistakes and learn from them as the making mistakes part is human and the learning part is soul. Don't judge yourself for making mistakes but just don't keep making the same mistakes. That isn't soulful.