The more I observe these three personality boosters, the more I see them as personality destroyers. These personality boosters are the domain of the human ego and they are behaviors that we think make us better: need for approval and to approve of, the need to control and the need to judge.
We humans use these behaviors to puff up our ego, make ourselves feel better to the unwitting ruination of our own personalities.
Why is this so? I have found these three behaviors to be the Secret key of keeping humans in a cognitive trap where we think we are better than others, we are more important than others and we become obsessed to the point of folding and re-folding our underwear drawer on a daily basis because we think it gives us more control of our lives. It's a fallacy of epic proportions and it makes us little mean robots with self-serving agendas. We become unfeeling, cold as ice zombies. We becomes spoiled brats and it ain't pretty.
What to do. Let go of the need to approve and be approved of, control and judge others. Is this hard to do? You bet it is but it is the most freeing practice you will do in your entire life. The side benefit is that you will grow up and perhaps you'll like yourself more instead of loathing yourself.
Our egos have a purpose as they serve us to create a sense of ourselves useful for engaging in this three Dimensional Matrix we are in. It's an identity marker. The rest of the ego's behavior is just details.
Remember: God is man minus ego.