I ignored my intuition because of my personal emotional needs. I dated a very kind, generous, smart, educated and successful woman for three months and throughout our time together, I felt a nagging, intuitive sense of disconnection from her. I ignored it and gave her affection by kissing her innocently on our second date and beyond which she returned or putting my arm around her or holding her hand but in every case, she seemed reluctant to want to hold me back or she would put the breaks on our kissing by saying, "Okay" but she never asked me to stop or told me she didn't like it.
We did many things together like seeing movies, going to live theatre, taking walks, seeing music concerts, eating out, drinking wine together, having many discussions and conversations and there was never a feeling of real warmth from her. I intuitively felt something was amiss but because I thought I liked her and wanted to have a "girlfriend," I ignored my intuition. I was solely concerned with my needs.
I recently expressed that I felt that she was distant and that it was bothering me. I wanted more than just hand holding after three months of dating. She came back with telling me that she felt no connection to me, we had nothing in common and that my kissing her and physical affection towards her was pushy and had made her feel uncomfortable throughout the entire time we dated. I realized that my intuition was right. I should have listened to it early on and have avoided the uncomfortable reality that we were both going through because there was really nothing between us. I was forcing something that was not there.
I must say that I was relieved when she said she didn't want to see me anymore. It was like a dark feeling had been lifted from me.
The lesson is pay attention to your intuition. It doesn't lie. Your ego and feelings may get bruised in the short term but in the long term, it will save you from much disappointment. I wanted to have someone in my life and that's OK. She was not that someone dispite all the fun we had and nice times together. I don't believe that we had nothing in common or that there was no connection between us. I was not feeling disconnected, I was feeling like there was a barrier that she put up. If she felt no chemistry, she should have expressed that immediately like on the second or third date.
There is nothing wrong with a little warmth between people but if there isn't, don't pretend. Get out quickly and move on. My intuition told me this right away and I ignored it. That's a big no no! Lesson learned.