I met my wife in New York when we were actors. We were together from the moment we met and would see each other in the shows we were in whether it was in New York or out of town. After about 10 years, my wife decided to drop out of show business and become a High School theatre teacher. My first reaction was incredulity because she was such a fine actress and I could not accept that she wasn't going to be doing that any more and being that person I had met. Her response to my uncertainty was to tell me that she was determined to make this change in her life and that I, as her husband, was going to have to accept her in her new role. I did accept her in her new role but I felt a little disappointed that the actress part of her was being silenced. I have asked myself why I had difficulty in, at first, feeling OK with her change.
I believe I had difficulty in accepting her new direction in life because I had so identified her and my relationship with her being an actress. I did not realize at the time that I was trying to fit her into a smaller box and not giving her room to grow and be more. My wife proved to have many identities, many abilities and talents beyond what I originally perceived. I realized I had judged her. It's still hard for me to realize how very talented she was and in so many ways.
In the end, I encouraged and supported my wife in expressing her many facets because I loved her and accepted her as she was. I was not threatened by her awesome talents but was proud of her and one of her biggest fans. In this relationship, my wife helped me discover unconditional love. That Love had no Grievances with who she was as a person. This force of nature who was my wife showed me that loving someone is not restricting them according to your view of them. It is releasing them and allowing them to be all they are, supporting them to develop their many abilities.
When my wife stopped being an actress was when unconditional love entered our relationship. I accepted, appreciated and was grateful for this being who was my wife and it allowed me to see the flowering of her many sides.
I learned how to be unconditionally loving. Thank you, my darling Maureen.