Thursday, September 22, 2016

Sadness And Crying Over Endings

All my life, I have been sad and cried over endings. Whether the end of a love, marriage, experience or even a way of doing something, I find closure difficult. Many humans and even animals do this. We just don't like when that which makes us happy, ends. For me, I often fall into sentimental regret and go to what I call "the place of pity."

I continued to do this when my wife, Maureen, died suddenly on her birthday in 2012. It was traumatic and I was deeply grief-stricken, lonely, melancholy, dejected. This time, in my life, through the grace of Spirit and realizing that it was my lower ego afraid of something dying including itself, I eventually decided to look sadness in the face and I did a 360 degree turnaround when I changed my natural tendencies around by not crying because it's over but smiling because it happened. I switched my focus to realizing the great fun I had and brought the feeling within myself that I had a most incredible experience with her. It did happen and by concentrating on that, instead of loss, I gained a world of peace, contentment, happiness and so much more.

Don't get me wrong, I still miss her but I feel a connection with her borne out of focusing on the fun, joy, humor, partnership and great experiences we had and focusing less on bereavement. It's a matter of focus. This is where I shifted. When I think of our life together now, I smile because it happened, I had her in my life and I am so gratified and appreciative of the experience. I feel myself better for having met her and I am complete. I am not looking for anything because nothing is missing from me. I had it all. I can now let go and move on.

May I encourage all who read this to try this perspective of not crying because it's over and smiling because it happened. It's a hallmark, the signature moment of allowing more in your life. The road of your experiences is in front of you...look there.

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