Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Letting Go

After my soul mate and love of my life, my wife Maureen passed away suddenly in 2012,  I did not yet want to or understand what "letting go" was really all about when it comes to someone with whom I had a deep, defining and life changing and loving  experience.

We all hear this mantra about "letting go" as it relates to all aspects of our lives. But, what is "letting go" really all about? These are my perceptions culled from three years of grief, sadness and loneliness that I experienced after Maureen left. If you have other experiences with the perception, not opinion, with "letting go," please share them with me in this forum.

After someone special dies, we often are bombarded with encouragements to move on and let go. I received these admonitions from relatives who were well-meaning but deep inside, I really didn't understand what it meant to "let go." Of course, I thought I did but the act of "letting go," for me, was not what I had previously understood it to be until I changed my perception of it.

After three years of wrestling with "letting go" of Maureen's being physically gone, I realized that she wasn't gone. A part of her still remained and of course, not her physicality, not her persona or lower ego. Her Spirit was still in existence as I had much contact with her.

My tendency was to want her back physically, to want to hug her and talk to her persona again. This was impossible and I had to accept that but more importantly, I had to control my psyche to not fixate on her persona and allow my deeper perceptions to come to the fore where they knew Maureen would always be a part of my beingness, always in my heart, that Love never dies. I no longer needed to be so attached to her physicality because it had been left aside by her and her true self was still intact on a higher vibratory level of existence.

I finally discovered that "letting go" was accepting the reality of her physical departure and releasing my psyche's fixation on her persona which caused all of my sadness and loneliness. I had to learn to live my life again, to move out of stasis, to find my motivation again and realize I was not truly alone. I was not forgetting Maureen, I was simply coming to terms that there is ever lasting life and death is a mirage. We don't die, we just change form and our psyches have a difficult time realizing this.

I cannot lose the experience of "Maureen." I can only move along my road, my path of new experiences and have joy in the fact that I did experience an incredible, loving being in Maureen.

"Letting go" is really recognizing the true nature of who we are: ever lasting Spirit who takes on persona to have soul-growth. Our true experience is coming and going in and out of form!

As I release my fixation on Maureen and let go, I know that I will see Maureen again in the after life and the next life, that is, on the higher vibratory planes of existence and as a new persona and I will hug her and she will say, "you did good."

1 comment:

  1. She is with you always John... just know that....just in another form. You were holding on to the physical - and that's no longer there. Letting go of the emotion sometimes is one of the hardest things. Proud of you!!!